You can’t help but notice that there are an awful lot of posts today, it’s to stave off the boredom, the house is empty, the house has been empty all weekend, and I don’t honestly mind, with the exception of one person not being here it’s absolute bliss having total quiet in the house. I’ve padded about all day getting on with little tasks, it’s something that some people don’t really appreciate; don’t get me wrong I love going out, but there’s something uniquely satisfying about padding around the house in thick socks with the heating on, while the rain thunders down outside just getting on with little jobs around the house.
I seem to be in a small minority that actually enjoy the long lost past time of pottering, that being going round accomplishing minor, boring, repetitive tasks, or simply re-organising things, just for the sake of re-organising them, today I’ve tidied mine and Dave’s bedroom, I’ve cooked, I’ve re-organised the bookshelves in my office and our bedroom, and I’ve also caught up on a pile of paperwork that was in real danger of over-taking me. It wasn’t exactly the hedonistic weekend I had planned, In fact it couldn’t have been further from the plan if it tried, but it has been mildly satisfying to get all those little jobs done.
The “down time” has also given me a great opportunity to sit down and get my head together, to re-evaluate things, and to put things in perspective, I’ve cleared the clutter in my head and set down a list of realistic goals for the next six months, as outlined below, I want to move house to a nicer part of the city, I want a new job with new challenges, I want to stay with Dave because I love him to pieces, and to buy myself a new bed. I don’t think they’re difficult to attain. It’s been a while since I mentioned work here, and for good reason: it’s been a nightmare – for a number of reasons to lengthy or just downright boring to go into here.
My relationship with Hunky-Dorry is dying, I don’t get any excitement from it anymore, so I’m considering simply moth-balling it and everything it does until a later date when or if I want to get back to it. I’ve got new projects on the go, two of which are very exciting, the other simply a good money spinner, and I’ve got Typhoon, which I will shortly own 100% of again, which will be a good thing I hope.
So where now: well I think a new job is the best way to take a “year out”, put some cash in the bank, and then re-assess going back to a hands on role running one of my own companies once I’m settled again, I’ve just turned 22, that’s 6 years of self-employment, 6 years of struggling to meet deadlines knowing that I won’t be paid if they’re not met, 6 years of arguing with debtors and creditors, and 6 years of dealing with other peoples flak, 6 very enjoyable years, but 6 years non-the-less which are now coming to an end, I’ll still be a managing director/senior partner of various firms, but I’ll be making a conscious effort to keep myself as far out of the limelight as possible.
Life-wise what will I be doing: well things are going to change, radically… the gym is going to be featuring heavily in the lifestyle changes over the next six months, as my figure has gone downhill in the last six months, partly through illness, partly through lack of exercise, and partly through worry, I’ve got to lose at least a stone and a half, and stop the huge intake of crap I currently ingest, alcohol is fine, but the crisps, chocolate etc has got to stop. I’m also going to get back to living my life the way I want to rather than worrying about what certain people will say, I want to take back all the responsibilities in my life, living where I do at the moment is a little like living at home again, I did swear that I’d never do the two plus one thing ever again, but it seemed like a good idea at the time… I’ve said that before too. *beans*
This is the second year in a row that I’ve come to November and realised that there’s been some major fuck up’s last year it was relationships, this year it’s been business and financial fuck up’s – things are already changing for the better, but I’m still ruing that day in April that I decided to move house, big, no huge no, fucking massive mistake. Oh at this point I have to say – Thank god for Blogger, this huge blogger mug is saving my day with lots of caffeine heavy drinks.
So… from now on I’m living my life for myself, that will (obviously) include Dave, however all the hangers on, the bad habits, the shit, the broken promises and all the other stuff that’s making me so unhappy at the moment is going to be left behind, that is my goal mission, and it may sound tacky, but it’s something that’s true, failure is simply not an option.