Tag Archives: Resolutions

A goal for 2011.

I’m not a fan of resolutions, they often seem like a reason to just harp on about things you wish you’d do, rather than real goals set with a thought. But it is new year, and this does seem like as good a time as any to do this.

I’m going to live without supermarkets – or at least, I’m going to try. I’m not going to boycott anything, nor am I going to go out of my way to make my life more difficult than it need to be – but i am going to be making an effort to use the shops that are on my doorstep. I’m hoping this will make me think about what I’m eating, cook more often from scratch and to get to know more people in the community I live in rather than the faceless self-check out machines that are increasingly de jour in my local big brand supermarkets.

I do however live in the real world, I’m not expecting this to be a 100% successful experiment initially, but I am going to be making a real effort, and hopefully saving some money along the way to – indeed I hope to save so much money that on the nights when traditionally a splurge of expensive ‘luxury’ ready meals might have been the order of the day that I instead use that money to wander down to a cafe or restaurant instead – once again, doing my bit for the community that I live in.

Resolutions

I don’t believe in new year’s resolutions, I never have, there are two reasons behind this: first of which is that it’s an eternal joke that new years resolutions are there to be broken, so what’s the point of going to all the trouble of making up promises, telling everyone you know about them, only to break them a month down the line and look like a failure, or a tit… depending on what you’ve promised.

Secondly I always keep a running list of my goals, ambitions and dreams with me, I work toward things I want methodically setting myself realistic, and sometimes not so realistic time-spans in which to achieve them, this way I have a running list of reasons to get up in the morning (other than earning my crust to pay the rent). I can’t stand the thought of being one of life’s bumberlers, moving haphazardly through life with no direction, just taking what comes along because that’s better than whatever they had before.

I love the idea of being in control of your own destiny, and I’m a great believer that you are the only person who’ll ever make a difference to your own life. You can’t simply rely on other people to move your way up the ladder: you’ve got to be the person who makes all the moves, otherwise you’ll never move. On the few occasions where I’ve put faith in other people doing things for me I’ve always been let down, because no one except myself could ever live up to the expectations of workload and success that I have, and what’s more, I wouldn’t expect them to.

Blogging like crazy

You can’t help but notice that there are an awful lot of posts today, it’s to stave off the boredom, the house is empty, the house has been empty all weekend, and I don’t honestly mind, with the exception of one person not being here it’s absolute bliss having total quiet in the house. I’ve padded about all day getting on with little tasks, it’s something that some people don’t really appreciate; don’t get me wrong I love going out, but there’s something uniquely satisfying about padding around the house in thick socks with the heating on, while the rain thunders down outside just getting on with little jobs around the house.

I seem to be in a small minority that actually enjoy the long lost past time of pottering, that being going round accomplishing minor, boring, repetitive tasks, or simply re-organising things, just for the sake of re-organising them, today I’ve tidied mine and Dave’s bedroom, I’ve cooked, I’ve re-organised the bookshelves in my office and our bedroom, and I’ve also caught up on a pile of paperwork that was in real danger of over-taking me. It wasn’t exactly the hedonistic weekend I had planned, In fact it couldn’t have been further from the plan if it tried, but it has been mildly satisfying to get all those little jobs done.

The “down time” has also given me a great opportunity to sit down and get my head together, to re-evaluate things, and to put things in perspective, I’ve cleared the clutter in my head and set down a list of realistic goals for the next six months, as outlined below, I want to move house to a nicer part of the city, I want a new job with new challenges, I want to stay with Dave because I love him to pieces, and to buy myself a new bed. I don’t think they’re difficult to attain. It’s been a while since I mentioned work here, and for good reason: it’s been a nightmare – for a number of reasons to lengthy or just downright boring to go into here.

My relationship with Hunky-Dorry is dying, I don’t get any excitement from it anymore, so I’m considering simply moth-balling it and everything it does until a later date when or if I want to get back to it. I’ve got new projects on the go, two of which are very exciting, the other simply a good money spinner, and I’ve got Typhoon, which I will shortly own 100% of again, which will be a good thing I hope.

So where now: well I think a new job is the best way to take a “year out”, put some cash in the bank, and then re-assess going back to a hands on role running one of my own companies once I’m settled again, I’ve just turned 22, that’s 6 years of self-employment, 6 years of struggling to meet deadlines knowing that I won’t be paid if they’re not met, 6 years of arguing with debtors and creditors, and 6 years of dealing with other peoples flak, 6 very enjoyable years, but 6 years non-the-less which are now coming to an end, I’ll still be a managing director/senior partner of various firms, but I’ll be making a conscious effort to keep myself as far out of the limelight as possible.

Life-wise what will I be doing: well things are going to change, radically… the gym is going to be featuring heavily in the lifestyle changes over the next six months, as my figure has gone downhill in the last six months, partly through illness, partly through lack of exercise, and partly through worry, I’ve got to lose at least a stone and a half, and stop the huge intake of crap I currently ingest, alcohol is fine, but the crisps, chocolate etc has got to stop. I’m also going to get back to living my life the way I want to rather than worrying about what certain people will say, I want to take back all the responsibilities in my life, living where I do at the moment is a little like living at home again, I did swear that I’d never do the two plus one thing ever again, but it seemed like a good idea at the time… I’ve said that before too. *beans*

This is the second year in a row that I’ve come to November and realised that there’s been some major fuck up’s last year it was relationships, this year it’s been business and financial fuck up’s – things are already changing for the better, but I’m still ruing that day in April that I decided to move house, big, no huge no, fucking massive mistake. Oh at this point I have to say – Thank god for Blogger, this huge blogger mug is saving my day with lots of caffeine heavy drinks.

So… from now on I’m living my life for myself, that will (obviously) include Dave, however all the hangers on, the bad habits, the shit, the broken promises and all the other stuff that’s making me so unhappy at the moment is going to be left behind, that is my goal mission, and it may sound tacky, but it’s something that’s true, failure is simply not an option.

Radical change required.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I want to change my life radically, I want to live in a different part of the city, deal with different people profesionally and more importantly remove superflous people from my life, I don’t want the people that bitch about me, or undermine me, I don’t want the people that expect me to make all the moves, to always be the one that comes running, because frankly I’m sick of all that.

My list of things I want to keep

  • Dave
  • A comfy bed
  • A new flat
  • A new job
  • Beyond that list I can’t imagine that anything I currently have will matter. Moreover I will no longer be having anything to do with a number of people who’ve proved themselves to be totally self-serving and nasty, 2002 will be going down as a year of broken promises and bullshit, and I’m sick of wading through bullshit, so it’s time for a change.