Tag Archives: Rant

it’s snow joke… (boom boom)

As if by magic winter has come along and it’s brought cold weather and snow – how unusual, that never happens! Well that’s what you might believe if you look at any of our media; so in the glorious cause of re-hashing articles and passing it off as news, I’m embarking on my yearly rant about the British media making a mountain out of a molehill. The British obsession with shutting down everything the second it looks a little bit snowy outside and the bizarre preoccupation with the weather that seemingly overlooks the fact that ten years ago our papers were screaming that snow was a thing of the past, that climate change nee global warming had consigned the idea of snow filled winters to the history books and fantastical Christmases inspired by Dickens.

So in the spirit of posting random stories about Snow, let’s revisit this classic article from the year 2000.

The Indie reports the death of Winter

Feel free to browse the whole article in The Independent archive

So there we are, rant complete: personally I hope it’s below zero and snowy until march – Climate change or not, I rather like the weather like this… I’m not convinced by the cries from both extremes that we’re heading to oblivion, sure we must have had an impact on the weather, but as we’re so rarely able to predict the weather more than 24 hours ahead (and even then with questionable accuracy) I’m buggered to see how we can say what it’ll be like in 100 years.

Free Paper Hell.

That’s it. I’ve had it – right up to, well… here. I. Don’t. Want. Your. F’ing, Newspaper! I really do not understand why you can’t walk 5 feet in London without being assaulted by some utter scumbag shoving a paper in your chest, while at the same time making you deviate enough to end up off the kerb, into the gutter, or worse into the path of a rabid city woman with her bingo wings swinging in the breeze.

Fuck off. Both your papers are rubbish, little more than re-hashes of the morning’s Metro with a sprinking of extra pointless D-list gossip stolen from Heat interspersing the already sparse content. If I want a paper, I’ll buy one, but please just keep the fuck out of my way with your pointless, environmentally unfriendly litter rag, or god help me one day I’ll shove your paper where the sun doesn’t shine.

Railways are dangerous – well duh!

I’m sorry if this sounds harsh, but this has annoyed me: Family campaigns for rail safety. What? As if the fences, gates, big signs saying do not trespass on the railway, danger trains & danger high voltage electricity signs, plus all of the thousands of posters, television and radio adverts plus in school education… aren’t enough?!

It’s very simple Railways are *DANGEROUS* – trains are heavy chunks of metal moving at great speed normally powered by electricity that’s either an obvious third (or indeed third and fourth) rail or by overhead cantary wires? – I mean it’s obvious it’s dangerous, so why is it every time some kid is (tragically – and it is tragically) killed do you always get a flood of calls for better safety? It’s very simple… stay off and away from the railway: you wouldn’t hear a call for ‘greater safety’ if a kid got killed by taking a shortcut across 8 lanes of the M25 moving at 70mph as a shortcut, so why is it every time this happens on the railways the families react as if it’s the train companies fault? Do you honestly think they don’t do more because they enjoy picking up pieces of teenager? If people were a taught a little bit more responsibility, they’d perhaps think before acting and not end up in as much trouble?

I’m really on my high horse about this one, I mean they’re calling for all third rail systems to be replaced with overhead wires, perhaps forgetting the billions of pounds and years of work it would take to do this, in this day and age it always seems to be someone elses fault, it couldn’t possibly be because you omitted to tell your child not to take ridiculous shortcuts that take her across a busy railway?! – Take responsibility for crying out loud, yes it’s tragic: but don’t expect the world to change around you.

This is so symptomatic of the problem that is crippling the UK at the moment, no one understands the value of responsibility, it’s all great fun till somebody loses a bollock and then the world cries blue murder, and what’s annoying is we’ve seen it all in the past couple of weeks, the war cry of ‘we didn’t know’ seems to be a cover-all that indemifies practically everyone from taking responsibility for things that they either should have known about, or at least should have thought about.

Auto-big-headed-ographies

So Pete Doherty’s going to release his memoirs, it’s amazing with all the drugs the papers allege he takes that he can remember anything at all. I can just see it now…

June 1st – Got Stoned
June 2nd – Got Stoned
June 3rd – Got Arrested
June 4th – Got Stoned
June 5th – Verbally Vomited over some new song, and got stoned,
June 10th – Got stoned, did ‘community service’
June 11th – Got Stoned

I’m getting a little sick of seeing people release diaries, sure do it after you’ve lived an interesting life, but when you’re in your mid-twenties it all seems a bit, well… bandwagonie… if that’s even a word. I mean someone in their mid-twenties, what’s there to talk about? The first five years is the same as everyone else, shitting yerself, falling over, learning to walk, talk and stay continent, then there’s the school day’s, which frankly no one wants to hear about, ‘oh i was bullied’ or whatever, what bollocks: well join the club you’re no different to anyone else… then that leaves, what; 5 or 6 years between finishing education and where they are now in life to talk about? And what gets me is they manage to fill a whole book with it, (although most of that is down to using a size 14 font throughout), it’s the same as 2 year old bands having the gall to release a ‘best of’, I mean what are they going to do after that? It’s almost like they’ve lived their life, stop at 30 and then die, and as much as in some cases you might want that to be the case it’s not how things happen in real life is it?

I’m amazed at what crap people put in these books, ok some people may have had a stunning life, but if all you’ve done is get famous for getting your tits out, or lounging about in a house live on channel four, it’s hardly going to make a gripping read is it? It’s just the cult of celebrity taking yet another stride towards the completely ridiculous in my humble opinion

</rant over>