There’s really no need to scream.

There was a woman at Tottenham Court Road this morning… not unusual, what was unusual was that she was yelling, no, screaming – that’s probably more accurate. The reason she was assaulting my ears in only the way an American woman can is because she’d lost her ticket in the barrier machine, so instead of doing the reasonable and sane thing and seeking assistance (just as the barrier machine was telling her) she decided to take her wrath out on her fellow commuters.

For some reason TCR station was suffering from a shortage of exit gates this morning, so to get out we had to all go through one next to the exit we wanted or else we’d end up having to go out of the wrong side of the station and end up on the wrong side of St Giles Circus, anyhow…. with a queue of people building up this American woman decided to explode:

“Oh for fucks sake” she squeals, followed by: “that was your fucking fault you imbecile” to the poor man immediately behind her who had now slipped his ticket into the machine and moved through, with said American still being on the wrong side of the barriers. The man walked off, but the American decided she’d stand in the gate blocking everyone’s way. I was late for work as it was so at this point I ventured a polite “excuse me” only to be blown to kingdom come by “look my fucking ticket is lodged in the barrier, it won’t work you prick – so you’ll just have to wait”. I stood back stunned at the sheer rudeness of this woman for a) shouting at me, and b) further delaying my trip into work.

Just because you come from a country where the president resembles an ape and you’re allowed to drive dangerous non-environmentally friendly cars with guns doesn’t mean you can come to Britain and treat us with the contempt you treat your fellow Americans simply because you’re in a bad mood and you’re being inconvenienced by your own inability to follow simple instructions. Losing my temper I implied in sarcasm subtle enough for her not to understand that she should seek attention just like the machine was saying, if she could indeed read, she muttered something under her breath and continued to stand her ground, at which point I told her in no uncertain terms to piss off and stop being such an ignorant bitch holding everyone else up…at which point she moved: bloody tourists.

By the time I left TCR it was 9.15: only 15 minutes into the working day and I was already feeling like I was ready to kill someone. Thank god it’s Friday.

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